coconuts use your luggage for smuggling illegal coconuts into the country
coconuts are evil
coconuts are into the occult.
coconuts are peeping toms
coconuts wait for the perfect moment to kidnap your children
coconuts volunteer to do your laundry and then don’t separate whites from colours
coconuts party a little too hard
coconuts lie their way into high-paying jobs despite the fact they are illiterate
coconuts steal your work
coconuts stockpile office supplies
coconuts are starfuckers (pictured with Hamilton Leithauser from The Walkmen)
coconuts don’t know when to say when
coconuts are gluttons
coconuts always take two pieces of gum
coconuts always break up with you in a public place
coconuts use public phones because they are all drug dealers
